Reply to your suicide note*

by Baby Rainbow

* i never spoke about my friends death before and this was my attempt to reply to her suicide note. *

to twinkle toes,

you left me a letter so I'm going to reply.
starting with saying you didn't have to die.
i know it might sound selfish,
sound like like I'm being cruel.
but you promised me you wouldn't,
then left me like a fool.
you kept saying sorry, over and over again.
you said you didn't mean it,
but all you felt was pain.
how can you expect me to forgive you?
we came so far after,
everything we went through.
until you broke this promise,
it then became a lie.
you left me without even saying goodbye.
i hope you know i hate you for leaving.
this stupid promise you had me believing.
how on earth could we be best friends?
your suicide means our friendship ends.
i cant believe i trusted you,
i thought the world of you.
but it was never going to last,
but only you knew.
as we knew each other for longer and longer,
our friendship grew stronger and stronger.
then all of a sudden,
your body on the ground.
as i approach you,
there is no sound.
i now doubt that you ever understood me.
and its not like your here to disagree.
all i ever wanted was your friendship and trust,
but all of a sudden it crumbled to dust.
you left me with nothing, hurting alone.
as my heart broke, it turned to stone.
my love for you had disappeared.
as you had done what i had feared.
each night i walked to visit your grave.
now I'd rather visit an unknown cave.
you make me so angry,
so hurt inside.
now i want to commit suicide!
i want to fly,
into the midnight sky.
seeing you reach for me,
as you hear me cry.
i will not laugh,
i will not smile.
I'd simply quiz you for a while.
asking why you killed yourself?
left me perched upon the forgotten shelf.
I've always missed you,
and i do still.
but i have never forgave you,
and i never will.
i cut myself deep,
night after night.
wishing i could just fade out of sight.
i tried to end it all today,
nothing in my head would go away.
take a look at my arm,
read what it says.
it shouts your name,
in so many ways.
Ive scratched it, cut it,
burnt it too.
all because i thought of you!
you make me sick,
you make me scream.
i stay up all night,
I'm scared to dream.
somehow i hope this you can read.
as i slit my wrists and make them bleed.
i know we'll meet again one day,
and i will have lots more to say.
but until then,
I'll say goodbye.
think of your name,
sit here and cry.
but just don't think,
that your my friend!
or that this hatred will ever end.
every promise you made,
lie you told,
all the words you said.
all the times you betrayed me,
left me thinking just one thing...

...i think I'm glad my best friend's dead!!!

saffie
16

*dedicated to Linzi, love you * xxxxxxxxx

Submission date : 2007-03-21

Visits : 15017

Votes : 82

Rating : 4.8

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Latest comments

Infinite Catastrophe aka Alisha ( F P C D ) at 2012-08-22

This is a very deep, and very heartbreaking piece.

Those who commit suicide, I sometimes think are selfish. They think about their own pain before they think of what they will cause others. It's a horrible thing all round. Your friend must have been pretty depressed to have killed herself though. :(

Your emotions in this piece range from deep sorrow to pure anger and it was quite a piece to read. Probably one of the most emotional I have read, and I have read plenty of those. (Just one of your's recently).

Sorry you felt this way, hopefully you have forgiven your friend over time. It seems to me that you have chosen to feel anger towards your friend instead of sorrow, because it's easier to deal with that way. It truly is. But that anger won't last forever, and that sorrow will return... accepting it now and dealing with those emotions are the only way for you to get over your friend's death.. and even then, it will shape you as a person.

My only critique;
Punctuation... capitalisation is needed throughou the piece, and perhaps, I believe, a view commas/fullstops were out of place. I suppose that you were too emotional at the time to care. It's not that big a deal, just thought to point it out.

Well penned. 5/5

[ Praised by Baby Rainbow | Approved by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather ]

LittleMsPink at 2012-09-13

This poem was so powerful
i loved this..

Meme ( F P C D ) at 2013-02-12

I still come back and read this piece, its amazing that I keep feeling the same about it every time I come back and read it.

One of the deepest pieces ever!
*hugs*

xxx