waiting 4 some1 ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-13
How horrible is this. i hope you are alright now
and it was great poem
Jayde ( P D )
at 2007-08-13
I felt like your rhymes were a little forced. Still some spelling issues..
I like reading your poems. They have a story and it isn't just some random ending..
Good Job again. :)
Goran Rahim ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-14
Wow, this was a great one, the way ur showing us a story in a very poetic format.
you are talented... keep up the great job
a 5/5 from me as you really deserve it.
NyellMoonlight ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-14
I can relate to this piece. You put a lot of emotions in it. I like the choice of words in the poem, and the atmosphere that you created is good, too.
The ninth stanza is my favorite.
Keep up!
The Angel of Secrets ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-14
I liked this poem. The rhymes seemed a little bit forced, but thats allright.
I voted 5.
Gasttlee ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-14
"I though you were a true friend,
But it was all pretend.
You just used me, so you could get what you wanted.
Your plan though, was very well crafted."
These lines appealed to me the most because I've gone through this before. 5/5
Catastrophic Beauty ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-14
Good poem.
I like your wording and how this is a story in poetic form. I think that the rhyming was forced in parts.
But overall I still give you 5/5
Take Care!
-Shannon <3
Marc Ortiz ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-14
It was a great poem, I think the flow was okay, good job. I have some suggestions though..
(I look) out the window watching the rainfall down,
= Looking (adding 'ing' enhances the flow.)
And try to eliminate some of the I's =) coz it messes up the flow
Sweet Fragility ( F C D )
at 2007-08-17
Nice poem. The story itself is a horrible thing to happen to anyone. But I like reading it in a poetic form. The flow was okay, rhyming a little bit forced. But still 5/5.
~ Lainey
TwiztidJuggalette ( F C D )
at 2007-08-17
Wow...Really nice poem...The story is really sad but I liked it...The flow seemed a little off in this...IT was a enjoyable read...
5/5
Katlynn ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-17
So i don't make any sence in some of my poems and this one just like lost me all for some reason i mean it was good the parts i could catch into my mind of picturing.
"what ever I did, I am sorry.
And one day I will come and say I am sorry."
^this part where it says whatever i did, i am sorry well it also says that one day you will come and say your sorry, but you don't know what you did which i was lost on that also. but overall you did good job writing this. keep it up. keep on writing. love always and froever.
Jackie Pooped
at 2007-08-18
Wow. Very sad but I love this one too! It's very good and I felt as if I were there...
Many emotions.
-Jackie
Wallace ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-18
Very good. So much strong emotions in there. Very good poem, keep it up.
Crystal Gaze ( F P C D )
at 2007-08-18
It was an emotional read.
but I felt your rymthes where more forced, and natural.
Still a good write, and an excellent read.
Keep it up,
Elaine.
tears i cry ( F C D )
at 2007-08-23
I didnt like it very much the first stanza through it al of for me 3/5
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