Gemma ( F P C D )
at 2006-12-09
"You live your life on your own
From Him you've learned to stray
You hardly ever think of Him
And now you choose to pray?"
Such a fitting ending to a poem that can raise so many questions and issues.
It's very true what your saying in this poem.
People almost see asking for forgiveness from Him as a way out of the hole they have dug themselves into..
It's a sad cycle..
Well done in putting it into words.
5/5
*Gem*
CharismaticCountryGirl ( F P C D )
at 2006-12-09
This is like your best poem ever! This rocks!
One suggestion is to add the word IT in the second stanza last line. And the 4th stanza's a bit off, but I just love the poem that I wouldn't give it any less than a five. The message is amazing, and I loved it. I worked on my Labels Set Free poem...all except the last stanza. It sounds better I think. Hope you like it!
Charisma*
♥LuvSuxGetDrunk♥ ( F P C D )
at 2006-12-11
I really enjoyed this, my favourite part was the last stanza.
I am agnostic (I think I spelt it right) so I can't really comment on the theme of the poem, but I liked the idea muchly, I ound it very pleausreable to read.
Twisted Heart ( F P C D )
at 2006-12-13
Very well done, dear friend. You have trully hit the nail on the head with this one.
The flow was fantastic and so was the messaage. This is probably my favorite of yours.
Was scrolling through my poetry and happened to see you had posted a comment on my poem- Weary Traveler, and was glad that you included who you used to be. Wondered what happened to you. Glad to find you.
Happiness
Jeannie
captivelightning ( F P )
at 2006-12-19
Excellent job! I finally got to comment on one of your poems! More to come.
You Know Who
debbylyn ( F P C D )
at 2006-12-22
This a really good poem with a strong message. How often people forget to thank God for their blessings ,but choose to remember when they are in need. Well done! 5/5
Lovely Bones ( F C D )
at 2006-12-25
The message in this poem is very true and very relevant in today's society. I agree with the person above who said that for some this is an easy way to dig them selves out of this 'hole' that they've gotten into, and them automatically forget and don't think about God at all. You did a very good job writing this poem..
God Bless,
Sarah-Joy
BriBri .x. ♥ ( F P C D )
at 2007-01-19
AH! This was so amazing. This reminds me of a lot of people.. & It's so true. A lot of people do that.. I probably do too :/ WHICH IS BAD! But, I really loved this. The message was so true, & strong. The flow was amazing.. & It was just like, my favorite.
I loved the very last line. :]
Actually, the whole last stanza. It fits so well. Perfect ending, to an amazing poem.
Beautiful.
Bri.x
Nicole
at 2007-02-06
I really like your poems. there completely awesome, but this one stuck out to me the most. just recently i started going back to church and asking for forgiveness because i havent gone in a couple of years because i was never really able to forgive god when my sister passed away. so i just wanted to say i love this poem.
TheWorldFell&UWerentThere ( F P C D )
at 2007-02-16
This had such a strong emotion on me! It made me think of myself too! Such an amazing write. 5/5
monkey shines ( F P C )
at 2007-02-24
Your so right, people only care about god when there's a problem. they never think about what else is involved. very well done, love.
poetic passion ( C )
at 2007-03-09
This is beautiful and true its a shame it works like that but its true 5/5 hun:)
SilentRebuke ( F )
at 2007-05-21
Beautiful poem. it was true in the first century and its true now. ironic. very well expressed
Rhiannon ( F C )
at 2007-06-17
I only know two prayers.
In the morning, "Whatever."
And before I fall asleep, "Oh, well."
I'm sure I'd love to be able to say Help me, Help me, Help me.
End with Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
But modern (G)od is one with whom I am not familiar.
jose
at 2007-07-25
This is very nice work keep it up i like the mood expressed all the best
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