Melissa ( F P C D )
at 2009-10-07
This is so utterly beautiful! It's nice to read something written with such vulnerability, you can just taste it. I find that true poetry (for me) is when the writer reveals himself as simply himself. You never sugar coat your words into something delish just to satisfy your ego. Which in turn evokes a raw honesty that's more divine than any lie. I adore this, as all of your writing. I'm not going to critique this piece, as it truly touched me.
Thanks for sharing! ;o)
Ingrid ( F P C D )
at 2009-10-08
Danny..
These words convey what I feel inside as well and it is so strange to know you wrote them. A poem like this makes me realize that I am not alone and there are people who are like minded. Age and background and circumstances we live in not seems to be of any real meaning. I read you and somehow recognize me...so strange, but also reassuring..to know I am not the only one who feels a certain way.
You write so well, such clever wording..it is a pity true quality is not what matters on this site, otherwise your poems would be front page material each week.
You are more real to me than any dream I dreamt, or secret kept. Release yourself into this world and realise your capabilities. Know that you will never be alone. If any heart can love, and you can love any heart - no, you will never be alone.
^^
So very well put, I have these feeling too for someone:)
God bless:)
5/5 Ingrid
T e m p s ( F P C D )
at 2009-10-10
'Love is a story with a million plot holes. End it in a cliff-hanger and my strength allows me to keep hanging.'
^A really great metaphor, this line was like a cliff-hanger of its own -- it made me want to keep reading because the way you wrote everything was extremely well done and makes the reader interested to hear what else you have to say.
"And maybe one can be guilty for caring too much but what kind of a crime is that? One of which I don't feel can rightly be punished in any conventional sense"
^Ohh how I loved this. I feel like this part speaks the words that a lot of us have wished to say, but you have expressed it for us. I feel as though Ive been in this stage one too many times.. caring so much for someone, of course we're all guilty for that & in the end we dont know why we're being punished for caring so much for them. But it happens anyways, for what reason I dont know.
'You are more real to me than any dream I dreamt, or secret kept. Release yourself into this world and realise your capabilities. Know that you will never be alone. If any heart can love, and you can love any heart - no, you will never be alone.'
^This all sounded like one huge quote that came out of a book, seriously -- it was that amazing and well written. I can't truly pick out my favorite line of this piece because everything was extremely well done.
I wont go further because this was well written and absorbed all my attention--made me want to read more. I think you should write a book, youd be a great author. Just talking about life in general. I think youd go a long ways. Again, well done! Although this may have not been necessairly what you call a 'poem' it was outstanding & impressive. You do not disappoint your readers at all. :]
Xx Dominique xX ( F D )
at 2009-10-19
I love this peom..
i like how you wrote it.
your such a great author!!
keep up the great work ^_^
<3 Dominique
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