YourThe ReasonIDiedTonight ( F C D )
at 2009-05-28
I agree with Joyce this is very beautiful and well written
5/5
Luna Blue ( F P C D )
at 2009-06-14
I understand what you're trying to get across with this poem, and I love this poem for its content. =]
But I think if you used a little bit, let's say, sentences which aren't often used, it would be some better. (just what I think)
Also:
"happy more that sad."
^ think you meant "than" instead of " that"
"or you'd still talking to me,"
^ think you meant "or you'd still be talking to me" or "or you'd still talk to me"
Other from that I can't really say much about this poem.
Think this is my favourite part of your poem:
"Guess I'll have to travel throughout life,
living on my own.
Growing old with a bunch of cats,
is all I'm good for now,"
If I had to rate this poem, I'd honestly give you a 4/5. Not to offend you. But I'm sure you have better writes.
Keep writing,
Luna
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