CY GINDLE ( F P C )
at 2009-02-22
Wow what can i say another excellent write
This does'nd sound like a friend to me
CY GINDLE ( F P C )
at 2009-02-22
You can learn from someone like this you
should always be a friend you want a friend to be
natasha wass
at 2009-02-22
This is true no friend of yours a friend is their through thick and thin
Kira ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-31
Well what you said truly define what a friend is not. Friends are those who walks in when the rest of the world walks out on you. If they do them there are not ur friends... They are just someone who wants to hang around you for the sake of whatever benefits that they can get...example like fame or some sort of recognition/specail treatment.I like what you have penned down.Keep it up
Great Job here
emotional wreck ( F C D )
at 2009-04-01
This one is great i really really know how you feel you let put your feelings about how your friends make you feel. its a really great poem great job
kabao
at 2009-04-03
Awww..
i feel it...
it's touching.
FlawlesslyTarnished ( F P C D )
at 2009-04-08
This piece was different from anything I've read. Well written, and a good way to define how friends shouldn't be. I think it's very relateable. [To me, anyway] I like that the lines rhyme. I didn't really notice while reading, but after I read it again, I did. (: And I also like the way you ended the piece. Great write. 5/5.
RainHidesTearsNotRedFaces ( F P C D )
at 2009-04-16
If I was sad and tears were flowing down my eyes
I'm sure you wouldn't comfort me
If I was chocked by an unpleasant surprise
I'm sure you wouldn't be here for me
^^ Wow, that's really harsh, I like it. It's a great way to start. And the rhyme scheme is good. I like the whole idea of the poem,it's quite unique.
If I was hurt and my heart has been broken
I'm sure you wouldn't be here to help me
If something so terrible happened that it couldn't be spoken
I'm sure you wouldn't be here to listen to me
^^ Wow, again it's quite harsh. Not in a bad way at all though, it adds a lot more emotion and power to your choice of words.
All you do is hurt me, I realize in the end
But still you want to call yourself my friend...
^^ I think if you added some syllables in the last line it would b much mor powerful. It's a great eniding. But I fnd that the last line just doens't fit with less syllables. Sorry if that's mean. You don't have to change it because it's already a great poem, so sorry for the critisism lol. And sorry I don't have ay suggestions on what to add.
Soda E>
Konstantin
at 2010-02-21
Ana, well written, sincere and full of feelings.
But there's one mistake
'If I was hurt and my heart has been broken'.
You should have written
If I was hurt and my heart HAD been broken.
Konstantin.
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