COOKIE ( F C D )
at 2009-02-07
Aawww...such a great poem...i agree lst stanza wuz definetely my fav. it wuz sweet and true yet u conveyed "love;s" true feelings...great job...i cn totally relate to it specially rite now :)
CrossCut ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-08
That poem was amazing. It flowed great and the message and feelings you get from reading it are great. Awesome job, fantastic poem! 5/5
Lawliet ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-08
Wow i like how you excute this poem. It is terrific; your portrayal of true love.Well before i read this poem i kindda read ur profile. Well it musta sux to have someone you used to love choose some other over you.Though i can sense a little enmity and sadness when you penned it down, I was surprise and happy how you end it. Well it was certainly a delightful to read.Keep it up
Excellent Job
5/5
xXBleedingxRoseXx ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-08
Wow this was realie amazing. true he made his choice to leave. you'll move on in time. n plus u have friend by urside. lovers come n go but friends stay. i realie liked it. amazing job..
The day will come ; Your heart won't ache .
No more nights will you lie awake .
The tears will stop , as the memories cease ;
His name won't hurt , and the pain will ease .
mi favoirite parte.
5/5
TaKe CaRe,
Frenchy
Nula ( F P C )
at 2009-02-08
Omg! i love dhis poem...its really good
& i love how u express it! Beautiful <3
the rhythm is great!
i Love it! ;]
Italian Stallion ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-08
Okay, I noticed that your puncuation has spaces between them, example: "Please love , dry your eyes .." there is no need for the spaces, it should be like this, "Please love, dry your eyes..."
I also noticed the word, "h0e" you used an zero instead of an "o" perhaps change it so that it is gramatically correct.
Overall I think it is a short and to the point piece of poetry which was greatly written with good flow and structure.
Great work, keep it up.
Peace, Joe
Dream Angel ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-08
Good flow, rhyming ,message...all in all a very good poem!
Nice work, young lady!
Take care,
5/5 Ingrid
Valedico ( F C D )
at 2009-02-08
'Please love , dry your eyes ..
There's no reason for you to cry .
You loved him lots ; I know it hurts ,
But all these tears he's just not worth .'
Good flow, but beware of the structure as it's a bit misplaced punctuation-wise, and put a comma after 'tears'.
'He made his choice , now let him go .
Let him have that ugly h0e .
It won't be long , he'll be on his knees ..
But walk away , and ignore his pleas . '
I don't like the second line, it sounds a bit immature, if you could change it, this second stanza would be a bit better overall. The tone is good though.
'The day will come ; Your heart won't ache .
No more nights will you lie awake .
The tears will stop , as the memories cease ;
His name won't hurt , and the pain will ease'
This is perhaps the best stanza, as it flows great and the rhymes don't sound forced.
'But until the day that all this ends ,
Remember that you've got your friends .
Just take our hand , and we'll help you heal ;
Showing you how true love feels . '
This stanza is a good ending, as it's quite heartwarming, and fits with the title.
With some editing, this piece could be better but I like the tone, and I like the poem in general.
[ Praised by Ex-Member | Approved by Italian Stallion ]
Mr Anonymous ( F P C )
at 2009-02-08
The flow was amazing, and the rhyming was awesome! It was really sweet, too, and the ending was really touching. It was very well written, good job!
Marcus ( F C D )
at 2009-02-08
Good poem
Great topic
I thought it was going to be about a relationship at first but it portrays how a good friend should be there for you
5/5
alka mendiratta ( C )
at 2009-02-09
5/5. A poem with a perfect flow.The message of 'let go' is loud and clear.The last stanza is rhyming so good.Excellent job done.Keep it up.God bless.
Nelle ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-09
I can honestly say with all that I'm going through with my break up with my fiance this poem just made me open my eyes a lot. It is inspiring and helpful. Your words really got to me and is really making me think. It shows strong emotions and heartfelt words. You did amazing.
SashaMirage ( F P C )
at 2009-02-09
Wow I must say for the age of 16, you are an incredible writer. You really described how you felt very well and in unique way without rambling on about how hurt you were. I really enjoyed reading this and the ending was the best part. 5/5
ForeverASickKid ( F C )
at 2009-02-09
OMGG i love it!! so amazing!!!
p.s.: dean is my fave on Supernatural too he is so sexy!! lol did u see him in "My Bloody Valentine" yet?
Hopeless Romantic ( F D )
at 2009-02-09
This was absolutly beautiful! My favorite part was at the end.
"But until the day that all this ends ,
Remember that you've got your friends .
Just take our hand , and we'll help you heal ;
Showing you how true love feels."
:) Too true. What an original, yet different, perspective & positive attitude!
CalebxXxPoet With A PurposexXx ( F P C )
at 2009-02-10
Aww that was a sweet poem 5/5
mandy ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-12
That was absolutely beautiful. The last section didn't flow as nicely as the others, it seemed like there were some words missing. Besides that, the poem was very touching and true, 5/5.
-mandy<3
mandy ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-12
That was absolutely beautiful. The last section didn't flow as nicely as the others, it seemed like there were some words missing. Besides that, the poem was very touching and true, 5/5.
-mandy<3
mandy ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-12
(sorry about the douplication) ^
xLilMissFrostyx ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-14
"Please love , dry your eyes ..
There's no reason for you to cry .
You loved him lots ; I know it hurts ,
But all these tears he's just not worth ."
^^I adore this opening stanza, it showed the feeling of being strong, and was also a little inspirational which pulled me into the piece.
"He made his choice , now let him go ;
His mistake , and he'll soon know .
It won't be long , he'll be on his knees ..
But walk away , and ignore his pleas . "
^^I love the last two lines here, again it shows the feeling of being strong, and I love that, it's like you're saying, you know what? In time, you wont need him!
"The day will come ; Your heart won't ache .
No more nights will you lie awake .
The tears will stop , as the memories cease ;
His name won't hurt , and the pain will ease . "
^^Favourite stanza so far. The depth and emotion here is beautiful, although all of us always feel that we'll never get over a lover, eventually the pain does lessen, you just need to give it time, and you capture that so well within this verse.
"But until the day that all this ends ,
Remember that you've got your friends .
Just take our hand , and we'll help you heal ;
Showing you how true love feels . "
^^The flow seemed -slightly- of to me in the last line, only slightly though.
That being said, I thought this was a beautiful way to wrap this piece up.
Inspirational, moving, and sweet.
Beautiful work.
[ Praised by Ex-Member | Approved by Italian Stallion ]
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