cantchangeme ( F P C D )
at 2009-01-26
Very nice poem
Loved the meaning behind the poem
I felt as though i started somewhere
And ended with a point made
very nice
El ( P C D )
at 2009-01-28
Short but sweet.
I half agree with It happened...
it wasnt great but it was good
i wasnt so disapointed. i think it was original and interesting.
Keep writing
4/5
Broken Masquerade ( F C D )
at 2009-01-29
I really like this, its short and to the point however still portrays strong emotions. The last three words "that never was" were incredible and I think, ended it very well. I really like the title of the poem as well it made me interested in the poem. It was a pleasure to read and was written extremely well.
You're an amazing writer =]
5/5 from mee.
xx
coverd in darkness ( F P C D )
at 2009-01-29
Great title, i really enjoyed the first to stanzas. I think it's a good poem full of strong sad emotions. Not sure about the two lines 6th stanza suddenly rhyming and somewhere in the poem i feel there's something missing. Great idea behind the poem.
RainHidesTearsNotRedFaces ( F P C D )
at 2009-01-29
Simply amazing. this is a really excellent poem. I have two favorite parts...
"Hurt you till you bleed,
When you're least expecting."
I really like this part, I'm not sure why. I think it's the "least expecting" part. Either way it's very good. Also I like the part...
"And the end of a relation...
That never was."
It's a great way to end it!! "that never was" I could feel the emotion in those three words! Great poem all in all 5/5
SP
AnCi ( F P C D )
at 2009-01-30
Amazing poem =) I think it speaks a lot about friendships that was never there... because if a friendship is capable of ending than it means that it never existed..
InvisiblyBroken15 ( F P C D )
at 2009-01-30
This was good.. but .. this is the type of poem that if you dont read the title you would have no clue what the point of the poem was.. so i think you could have been more descriptive... just a suggestion though. but still it was good. 4/5 :)
Addicted to the other ( C )
at 2009-01-30
Nice poem
though i think the end was a lil weak
i think if you put you mind in to it you can wrap it up better.
4/5
Something To Say ( F P C D )
at 2009-01-30
Short but to the point and there was so much meaning beyond the words. Nice job, this was a great write to read, your true thoughts were in this piece and I have to flaws to point out. 5/5 from me, take care and keep writing, always and forever...
my tears never fall ( F P C D )
at 2009-01-31
This one has alot of strength in it and its my favorite out of all of yours
Aimz ( D )
at 2009-02-02
Quite short and to be honest I am not sure of the emotion / situation you are describing. Perhaps I haven't felt enough yet. But I thought it was well written.
Good job
4/5
heartbrokengrl ( F C D )
at 2009-02-02
This was a pretty good job, i must agree with the people above me, i was expecting more, and was a little disapointed. Thee was little flow, the it was written nicely.
4/5
simplyfrigid ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-16
I really enjoyed the end of this, I must say. But the beginning wasn't quite my taste. The first 2/3 stanzas seemed off to me, especially the first. And, though it makes complete sense, flows well, and all that. I think it was the wording that wasn't my taste. But, the ending was nice. Even with the two lines that rhymed in the stanza before. They're out of place, but it worked nicely
BREE aw NUHH ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-18
A nice piece. Short, and to the point. I have a few suggestions, though, but please do not take them personally or anything.
I think your poem could be more brilliant if it had more substance. You get your point across, but there's not much there. There isn't much of a flow, and my guess is because there isn't a whole lot to the piece.
"Hurt you till you bleed,
When you're least expecting."
= I liked this, because it's so true. When you think nothing bad can happen, it does, and I find it's more likely to.
Good job, overall.
Briana
Sapphire ( C )
at 2009-04-16
"They strike you like a knife,
When you're not looking."
-I already like this poem, the entrance has drawn me in. With putting the knife in here, it's made me want to know more.
"Hurt you till you bleed,
When you're least expecting."
-This stanza makes me realize what your really talking about, and I think you described it very well.
"Continue striking you,
Until you lose it..."
-Friend turned enemy is never a pretty thing, and this stanza shows just how vicious that friend can be.
"The pain subsides,
As you finally let go.
Realizing the end of a trust,
Always broken.
The end of trying,
The end of crying,"
-Wow I had to read through these 3 stanzas twice to make sure I was getting the meaning right. It was a good thing, no worries.
"And the end of a relation...
That never was."
-The way you end this poem is very good. How you tie it back to the first stanza is very good and a very awesome technique.
*I think that this poem take's one of life's many lessons and sums it up very well.
5/5
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